"i'm so tired... of playing... playing with this bow and arrow...."
i love you portishead.
but really, i appologize for not posting in like... NINE WEEKS.
my life has been a horrible trainwreck of explosions and fires.
highs and lows, as per usual.... but also some rock-bottoms.
i'm so horrible at relationships... and i wish i knew what my faults were when it comes to them, because if i could figure it out, then maybe i could have a REAL chance at some kind of future. one that isn't being shared with kady right now.
kady is a gateway kat.. i swear to fsck she is... 10 years from now, i'll have like, THREE more. mark your calendars, i called it.
right now, i feel kinda bad... because i just don' know. i'm forcing myself to open up more.... because i'm so used to shutting up/ down when things get heavy... i was never one to express certain emotions... well, express them as passionately as my anger, to say the least.
i wish i could channel all that fury into my other emotions... but then again, i think PDA is silly, and wearing one's heart on their sleeve to be a beacon for everyone to take focus on the fool who's lovestruck.
i love you.... but i don't know if i'm IN love with you.
i like having you around, but i don't know if i could do it forever.
i want you in my life.... 'cause it's been so long, that i don't know what i'd do if you weren't.
but other than that... i don't know.
on the flipside... i wish you'd tell me what you want.
have i offended you with my brashness?
did i say something to you once that turned you against me?
i think we need to talk about this.
i'd really like to...
In other news, i got another tattoo... it's the pirannah plant from the mario bros. series... I'M SUCH A GEEK! it's big and prettyful, and in two weeks i go back for colours~! wheee!
money well spent bitches. very well spent.
- Garden Position:livingroom
- Floral Aura: grey
- Garden Orchestra:Portishead - Toybox