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so tired...

"i'm so tired... of playing... playing with this bow and arrow...."

i love you portishead.

but really, i appologize for not posting in like... NINE WEEKS.

my life has been a horrible trainwreck of explosions and fires.

highs and lows, as per usual.... but also some rock-bottoms.

i'm so horrible at relationships... and i wish i knew what my faults were when it comes to them, because if i could figure it out, then maybe i could have a REAL chance at some kind of future. one that isn't being shared with kady right now.

kady is a gateway kat.. i swear to fsck she is... 10 years from now, i'll have like, THREE more. mark your calendars, i called it.

right now, i feel kinda bad... because i just don' know. i'm forcing myself to open up more.... because i'm so used to shutting up/ down when things get heavy... i was never one to express certain emotions... well, express them as passionately as my anger, to say the least.

i wish i could channel all that fury into my other emotions... but then again, i think PDA is silly, and wearing one's heart on their sleeve to be a beacon for everyone to take focus on the fool who's lovestruck.

i love you.... but i don't know if i'm IN love with you.

i like having you around, but i don't know if i could do it forever.

i want you in my life.... 'cause it's been so long, that i don't know what i'd do if you weren't.

but other than that... i don't know.

on the flipside... i wish you'd tell me what you want.

have i offended you with my brashness?

did i say something to you once that turned you against me?

i think we need to talk about this.


i'd really like to...

In other news, i got another tattoo... it's the pirannah plant from the mario bros. series... I'M SUCH A GEEK! it's big and prettyful, and in two weeks i go back for colours~! wheee!

money well spent bitches. very well spent.

i'm gone.


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August 2015