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i feel like im suffocating

drowing


falling and not hitting anything solid
 


i can't feel beneath me


my eyes are open, but i don't know if im awake.


i'm losing it...

the will to go on.


nobody's given me a reason to go on.

i keep searching for answers, but i can't find any.


this is all so pointless.


i'm dead on the inside, playing puppet to the puppeteers twisted show.

but who's pulling the strings?

why do they make me dance so?

my questions go on, like the unheard beat of a stillborn....

 

i feel like i speak but i can't even hear myself...

and if i can't hear me, then who can?


i wish i had a hand to hold, at times like this

a hand to be my paperbag... something for me to breath in to... to calm down...


but my hand is empty...

i've nobody's hand to hold...

and thus, i fall...


i fall...

i fall so far...


there's no end to it...

my deep, dark hole...

that ironically shines so bright.


goodbye...

badbye.




i'm sorry to every and anyone who still reads this. my journal entries are so devastatingly emo... but really, it's because this is how i feel. the me out there isn't real.... and sadly, it's becomming harder and harder to play the role that i play. wost of all, i don't think i know wht that role is anymore...


i'm going to go eat cold chili and read my nana...

i need a hachiko.

Comments

( 2 sprouts — Plant a seed? )
biscayne
Jun. 21st, 2009 04:36 pm (UTC)
I feel exactly the same way. There is no need to apologize.
krystynn
Jun. 24th, 2009 06:41 am (UTC)
thank you, so very much...
( 2 sprouts — Plant a seed? )

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